road_to_calvary | (no subject)

It is early May, but you would not know it in this cellar. The place is as cold as ever, it smells damp, and the usual guard against the stone's natural chill - the fire - is gone. Valjean stares at the place where it should be; he is quite still, but his mind is working furiously.

Yesterday he had stayed a long time. Basque had to come twice to inform Cosette that dinner was served, and the family was waiting. This must have to do with that, they are trying to tell him something, they are reminding him that he is here by their grace alone.

But, wait. No, that is too much. In an instant, the truth comes to him. 'Ah,' he says, to himself. 'It is perfectly simple. The cold weather has ceased.’ And why should they need a fire, indeed? It is quite warm outside, quite pleasant. That must be the answer.

He remains a little uneasy, and does not sit down at first. It is too cold for Cosette, to be sure. But he knows she will come, and so would not think of leaving.

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He chastises himself at the sight of that smile. He must do better. But it is so hard to remember not to be her father, when it is all he wants in the world.

He thinks that he would have bought her a carriage if she had asked for one. He would have bought her anything. It was good that she was humble, but that was his influence, because he could not do anything but hide. He does not want that life for her now; she is free, and can live in the gaze of all society, just as he has worked to make possible for her. There is no need to be fettered, as she was with him.

But he cannot tell her that. And her gaiety seems a little forced now, and he wilts at the idea of this distance between them even as he knows it cannot be any other way.

For the first time, he is a little glad when Basque calls. By tomorrow, this will be forgotten and they can talk of Marius again, and all will be well.