road_to_calvary: (Danger)
 
It is early May, but you would not know it in this cellar. The place is as cold as ever, it smells damp, and the usual guard against the stone's natural chill - the fire - is gone. Valjean stares at the place where it should be; he is quite still, but his mind is working furiously.

Yesterday he had stayed a long time. Basque had to come twice to inform Cosette that dinner was served, and the family was waiting. This must have to do with that, they are trying to tell him something, they are reminding him that he is here by their grace alone.

But, wait. No, that is too much. In an instant, the truth comes to him. 'Ah,' he says, to himself. 'It is perfectly simple. The cold weather has ceased.’ And why should they need a fire, indeed? It is quite warm outside, quite pleasant. That must be the answer.

He remains a little uneasy, and does not sit down at first. It is too cold for Cosette, to be sure. But he knows she will come, and so would not think of leaving.


road_to_calvary: (Quiet Pain)
 

Valjean returns to Paris with the eagerness of a man separated from a loved one for ten years, or more. Except it has only been five days, and he has to pause when he realises time has not moved and in the city, he has just returned from visiting Cosette. It will be another twenty four hours before he can see her again.

He thinks he may spend the time thinking on the words of Combeferre and Bahorel, but they have slipped from him by the time he has reached his bedchamber and started to unknot his cravat. They belong to another world, where dead people try to persuade him that he is not what he has known himself to be for the better part of his life; that somehow there is virtue in stealing the love of a child, and trying to keep it for his own. Even speaking with Fantine, that poor soul who was wronged in so many ways; even the sting of her scolding and misunderstanding fades away to nothing. Milliways is another world, where dead people walk but should not touch the living; they are real to him and not, in the same way a dream is real until dawn breaks, and the sun washes it away.

He goes to bed. He wakes up, and eats some meat and bread, and counts the hours down by trying to read some of the book he wishes did not exist. But it pains him and he cannot concentrate, so in the end he just sits and waits until it is time. Then he stands and makes sure he is respectable, and starts the walk towards the Rue des Filles-du-Calvaire, and Cosette.

Weeks pass in this way. The days stretch longer, and so do his visits. At the beginning, he allowed himself to spend only minutes with her but the routine becomes familiar, she no longer objects to the cellar room, the spiders and cobwebs have been cleared from the windows, and he cannot drag himself away. He speaks of days past, her childhood when it was just the two of them and then of later days, with her little friends at the convent. And the tu address disappears from her lips; the "Madame," the "Monsieur Jean," renders him another person to Cosette. The pains he has taken in order to detach himself are working; she is gay, and cheerful, and loves him dearly – he feels it – but she is no longer so tender. He is no longer the focus of her love, and she has her life now, her household, her small troubles with the staff. He does not hold the same place in her eyes or in her affections, and he still cannot bring himself to go away.

One day, she forgets and calls him ‘father’. His heart lights up with joy, and he cannot stop it showing on his face. But he says, ‘say Jean,’ and she laughs.

‘Ah, truly! Monsieur Jean.’

He turns away so she will not see him wipe a tear from his eye. It is the last time she calls him ‘father’.

 

*

 

April, and the world bursts with new life before his eyes. He watches it from the window of his apartment, and sees it in the flowers growing behind railings on his walk to her house. The air smells greener under the usual grime of Paris; the air a little more fresh. He arrives a touch earlier every day, and leaves a little later.

Until, this day, today. Basque meets him at the gate. ‘Madame went out with Monsieur, and has not returned.’

He waits an hour, and she does not come. He departs in silence, his head drooping.

When he sees her the day after, she tells him that she went with Marius to visit the house in the Rue Plumet, that little sanctuary with the garden where the two of them had conducted their romance under Valjean’s unsuspecting nose. Indeed, she is so taken with this trip she forgets entirely that she had not seen him at all the day before. No matter, of course. He puts it from his mind, and asks her how they had travelled to the house.

"On foot."

"And how did you return?"

"In a hackney carriage."

They live so sparingly! They have money, and youth, and happiness; he had kept all that money to give her so that she might live well and enjoy herself. He does not understand this economy of the Baron’s.

"Why do you not have a carriage of your own? A pretty coupe would only cost you five hundred francs a month. You are rich."

"I don't know," replies Cosette.

"It is like Toussaint," he says. "She is gone. You have not replaced her. Why?"

"Nicolette suffices."

"But you ought to have a maid."

"Have I not Marius?"

"You ought to have a house of your own, your own servants, a carriage, a box at the theatre. There is nothing too fine for you. Why not profit by your riches? Wealth adds to happiness."

But Cosette says nothing. She follows Marius’s light, and this is evidently what he wants. Valjean falls to silence, troubled but not knowing what else to say. He is content to sit and look at her, and she is content to be looked at. It is well enough.

 

*

 

Early May, and the days are warmer still. Valjean comes earlier, and leaves later. When he feels that time has elapsed and she might leave the cellar to go upstairs, he uses the magic word: Marius. He pronounces him handsome, and clever; he praises his courage, his nobility, his eloquence; he has wit, he is every good thing. Cosette bests every attempt at praise, and so Valjean begins again and Cosette beats him again, and so on and so on, and in this way the time stretches, and he is in her company for longer and longer, living in her light while she shines for Marius, and Marius, and only Marius. The rest of his day is darkness, but it is enough to be there while she smiles, and speaks of her husband; he can exist while she lives for him, and talks of the life he wants her to enjoy above all else.

One day, Basque has to come twice to announce that the family are waiting for Madame la Baronne, so they might have dinner.

The next day, Valjean stays longer than ever. When a man is slipping down a cliff, he only tries harder to hold on...




 

 

 

road_to_calvary: (Quiet Pain)
 
'Monsieur le Baron has charged me to inquire whether monsieur desires to go upstairs or to remain below?'

'I will remain below.'

The room on the ground floor in which he stands is more like a cellar than anything else. It is dusty, infested with spiders and cobwebs, and there is a pile of empty bottles in one corner. The yellow walls are peeling, but there is a small fire burning so it is clear the Baron anticipated his response to the question.

There are two armchairs set by the fire. He sits in one because he has not eaten and barely slept since the wedding. His head droops forward as he falls into a doze, not perceiving a candle being brought, not perceiving anything at all.

road_to_calvary: (Default)
 
Christmas is over at last. It is usually a quiet but happy time for them - church, of course, and Toussaint will cook something a little more elaborate than their usual fare. Valjean spends more time than usual giving out clothes, and food, and coins to those who might need them. At this time of year, he carries small toys also; he remembers well a Christmas nine years ago, and the joy on a little girl's face as he handed her the finest doll in Montfermeil, and told her to play.

The little girl is no longer little, and her face is lit with the joy of being less than two months from her wedding. It is this which gives him pause today, on a day which should be like any other, but is not. Valjean has been sitting in his room in the Rue de l'Homme Arme, his chin resting on his hand, for some hours. The arrangements for the wedding continue apace. He has used the knowledge acquired on being a mayor, and has arranged a family and background for Cosette over these last few months; she is registered, and legal, and all is as it should be. There may be a peculiarity here and there, but everyone is so happy they seem not to have noticed.

All the paperwork completed on the day before Christmas, Valjean thought it kinder to leave a certain conversation until after the day itself. He would not want to blight her quiet festivities with Marius and his family, even if he is not sure how much of a blight this news will be. But it matters not; the holiday is over, and February seems much closer now than it did a few days ago. He can stall no longer; she must be told.

He sighs heavily, and stands up. There are papers on the table. He picks them up, regards them for a moment, and then shakes his head and leaves the room.

'Cosette?'
road_to_calvary: (Implacable)


It is a happy day, and it is a terrible day. The grandfather of Marius, Monsieur Gillenormand, asks for Cosette's hand for his grandson. Valjean bows. It is done.

He stands at the back of the room while the others exult, smiling yet grave - a vague smile to be sure, but a smile nonetheless. He says nothing, and goes unseen. That is, until later, when Monsieur Gillenormand remembers that all his money is in an annuity and becomes saddened by it - when he dies, the children will have nothing at all.

At this point, he steps forward.

"Mademoiselle Euphrasie Fauchelevent possesses six hundred thousand francs."

"What has Mademoiselle Euphrasie to do with the question?" inquired the startled grandfather.

"I am she," replied Cosette.

"Six hundred thousand francs?" resumed M. Gillenormand.

"Minus fourteen or fifteen thousand francs, possibly," said Jean Valjean.

And he laid on the table the package which Mademoiselle Gillenormand had mistaken for a book.

Jean Valjean himself opened the package; it was a bundle of bank-notes. They were turned over and counted. There were five hundred notes for a thousand francs each, and one hundred and sixty-eight of five hundred. In all, five hundred and eighty-four thousand francs.

"This is a fine book," said M. Gillenormand.



Valjean says nothing at all. He has kept a thousand francs for himself to live on, and so that he might continue to aid those who need it. He glances only once towards Cosette and Marius - they seem unaware of all that is happening around them, with eyes only for each other. Well, that is good. That is as it should be. Cosette deserves such adoration. 

 

 

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Jean Valjean

April 2016

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