road_to_calvary | (no subject)

Entry tags:

fantine,
in-bar

(no subject)

It seems Milliways has been storing up its surprises, ready to catch him while he has no defences.

Valjean had been leaving. He has spent days in Enjolras's body, he has been visited by Combeferre and Bahorel, who have read his life and tried to push him towards...he does not know what. He is tired, and he misses Cosette...and now, here is her mother.

He stands at the bottom of the stairs, dressed in gentleman's clothes because he had come here from a visit to the Pontmercy's. His hands grip the rim of his hat - there is a cobweb on it - held before him as if it were a shield. Fantine is between him and the door, but he does not think he would avoid her if she were not. Still. It is not easy to see her.

'Mademoiselle,' he says, in a clear and respectful tone.

'Good evening.'

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It takes another moment before he can force words out, so taken aback is he by one of her comments.

'Abandon her? No, mademoiselle. Never.'

Never that. Never.

'I have done all I can for her, you must see that. She has a husband now, she has a good name, she has her whole life ahead of her. She does not need me shackled around her ankle, but I would never abandon her in my life, you must believe that.'

It is a distressing notion that she might. Even worse that Cosette might think it, though she is so happy with Marius it surely cannot be.

"Oh, monsieur," says Fantine, her eyes filling with tears to see his sorrow, "you believe you've done all you can for her, and you believe you're now a burden, but you're not, you're not. And to leave her now, with no explanation, and for no good reason--that is abandoning her, though you don't know it. If you'd only seen her face when she told me of it!"

Her little Cosette, all grown up but looking so sad and frustrated and confused. Surely M. Madeleine must see it's much better for him to do as Cosette wants.

Surely Fantine can see that Cosette is consumed by Marius: that his will is her will, and their happiness is all that matters to any of them. He is not going to try and push his way into it. It is only right that he step back and allow them to live.

'I see her every day,' he repeats quietly.

'I will not stop seeing her. It is permitted.'

He will not ask for any more, and no more will be given. This is what it is. Even if he were to ask, it would not be granted. But he will not detail this, he will not give any reason for anyone to think badly of Marius.

He stands up instead.

'I am glad to see you, mademoiselle. I hope you are very happy, and that you will be able to see Cosette whenever you wish. I must leave you. I thank you for your kind words.'

But he does not want any more of them, and he does not want to hear that he is making Cosette sad. It is hard to understand, because she does not seem very sad when he sees her any more. She seems happy. She has Marius.

"You see her only a little, in a cold and dreadful room. And--permitted? Permitted by who? Cosette would permit so much more..."

She trails off, seeing him rise. Who would permit M. Madeleine so little? Marius? His grandfather? Now here is a mystery, and M. Madeleine doesn't seem inclined to help her with it. "I'm glad to see you, too," she says. "Thank you again for all you've done for Cosette--and oh, please do be more sensible about her, from now on. Don't grieve her by staying away."

His eyes remain downcast, but there is nothing sullen in his manner.

'Her happiness is everything to me mademoiselle, I assure you. Good day.'

He bows deeply to her then, and tips his hat, and takes his leave. Perhaps another time they can talk of happier matters, and he can see if there is anything she needs. For now, it is best to withdraw. He must get away from this place for a while, he must see Cosette, and perhaps after that, he will be able to think again.

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